Wondering How to Get Out of Your Head?

To be really honest, I just wanted to escape. I kept asking my friends “How do you get out of your head?” They didn’t know either.

I wanted to escape the relentless, unproductive thoughts in my head. They wouldn’t shut up no matter what I did. It was like a really annoying record playing and skipping over and over in my mind. The more I tried to quiet the noise the louder the messages got. When I slept, the messages were there. When I got ready in the morning, the messages were there. When I drove to work, the messages were there.

When I got to work, however, the noise stopped. So, what did I do? I threw myself into as much work as possible. But, as soon as I checked back into real life — driving home, taking care of my son, the time leading up to bed — the noise started again.

Before Getting Out Your Head the Noise Sounds Like This

What are you doing? That’s stupid.

Who do you think you are?

You are not the person who deserves that.

Why do you even think that’s a possibility?

You’re not worth it.

Don’t embarrass yourself.

Remember the last time you tried that (and failed)?

I don’t know why you’re even trying.

People like you don’t deserve that.

You keep failing. Why do you keep trying?

You’re not pretty enough.

Why don’t you get out of your head.

You’re too much.

What will people think?

You can’t afford that.

Why would he want you?

You’re a terrible parent.

Why are you so self-centered?

You aren’t smart enough.

You’re overweight. Still.

You will never be as successful as you want.

Avoidance Through Overwork Doesn’t Get You Out of Your Head

This problem is it conditioned me to do the only thing that avoided the unproductive thoughts - overwork myself. And so, I continued to do that for most of two decades.

What did I do to change this?

I started having a different relationship with those thoughts. Instead of battling them, I started being insanely curious about why they were there. I acknowledged them and started engaging in a conversation in my head to ask them, thought by thought, what they were trying to tell me.

It was only through this process did I start to understand where the thoughts came from to begin with and how to start changing them. It took a lot of work, but it’s the thing that changed everything for me.

How to Get Support

If you want to get out of your head and start changing your relationship with similar thoughts, click on the “Work With Vanessa” link to find out how I can help you.